Ask Me Anything

Davida asked:  Ok. Danny and I have read your view on my needing time “off” and agree that it better be sooner rather than later. So, now he keeps asking me what I want to do. I haven’t a clue. He’s trying to help me get away and I have no idea what I want to do or where I want to go that won’t be too costly. If $$ were no object, I’d be gone this afternoon. Any suggestions?

I can make suggestions for things to do for a few hours or a day, things I enjoy, like perhaps a spa day or going to a play with friends, but I’m not a vacation person personally.  I take my time in small doses.  That doesn’t, by the way, mean there’s anything wrong with getting a bigger chunk. 

In this, I’m limited to the way my imagination works.  I, for instance, might spend a couple of days in Galveston or Corpus Christy.  In Galveston, I’d see if there was a bed and breakfast in good repair (per Ike) and I’d go exploring other older buildings and sites in Galveston.  At Corpus, of course, it’s all about the beach.  Or, for relatively little money (~$250-400, which isn’t much more than a couple of nights in a good motel), I’d see if I could find a quick 2-3 day cruise.  A lot of time, they have last minute cancellations so you can get good deals at the last minute.  Or you could go to San Antonio for a couple of days, check out the river walk and Sea World.  But those are the kind of things that might appeal to me.  Or, if I had a family member that lived within long driving distance (or a reasonable flying distance), I might go visit a sister or a cousin, an aunt or a good college friend I don’t often see.

But examples or suggestions are really dependent on who you are and those reflect who I am.  I suspect that this time to yourself is about finding Davida again, reaffirming your Davida-ness.  I can’t tell you who that is or the best way to find her.

But you can do so by asking yourself a few questions like, what did you used to do to unwind before you got married.  I’m not talking about dating, but things you might go do with a good girlfriend or on a long weekend during in college.  Maybe there was someone you were close to, in the sort of way you loved who you were when you were with that person, that you could visit. In the end, think about the person you were before you married, or the sort of thing you did before you had children when your husband did his thing and you did yours.  That’s where I’d focus my attention.

(Lee, by the way, likes to camp).

I hope that helps.

Aron said:  Hey, you work at NASA, that is really cool. One day you have to write an article on how you landed that job. I dream of leading a space habitation effort with NASA, maybe you could provide a roadmap on how to get that job. If answering this won’t put your job in danger, how much red tape exists in NASA?

OK, there are three part to this:  First, how did I come to work for NASA?

Well, that’s rather a long story.  First off, unlike you probably are, I never intended to be an engineer.  I’d always wanted to be a writer.  I also, however, wanted to eat, so I was going to go to college to get a degree to pay the bills.  If you’d asked me if I was going to be an engineer my senior year of high school, I would have laughed long and hard.  I didn’t even like math–except word problems.  Anyway, I needed scholarships and I did a blanketing of scholarship applications.

So, along with an academic scholarhip, I got offered several other scholarships.  However, if went into engineering physics, I could take both the scholarship from the engineering college and a scholarship from the physics department.  It was a tough major and, once in, I was unwilling to let it beat me so I stuck with it until I graduated.  That, and it turns out it ended up suiting me quite well.  Who would have guessed?

Now, NASA at the time was actively recruiting (as were a number of NASA contractors) so they came to the campus and interviewed prospective students, including me.  I was all excited by the opportunity and really wanted NASA to call me, but they were slow and the then Lockheed Engineering and Science Company called me first.  By the time NASA called (they work slower, so you know), I’d already been hired.  So, no mystery.  (My career has been about that planned and more interesting, but you didn’t ask it).

Part 2:  Hiring is probably fairly slow at the moment; however, I’ve heard rumors that hiring for “fresh outs” might become pretty hot.  There are, additionally, several options to increase your chances.  First, you could get involved in a college that has on-going space activities, like University of Colorado or the California Institute of Technology (which co-operates JPL) and try to get involved.  If that’s not an option (we can’t all go to a university actively involved with space), you might try one of the programs like internship or volunteer programs that NASA does.  If you can’t manage that, there’s always the direct route, like applying at NASAJobs or one of the many space contractors.  Some of the commercial space companies might also be worth checking out.

 Third part:  Is there a lot of red tape at NASA?

Short answer is yes.

The long answer is red tape is part and parcel of any government job.  On the one hand, that can be a hassle.  On the other, red tape can also be a lifesaver.  Many of the safety requirements, for example, call for tests and verifications from parts manufacturers, perhaps inspections, that their processes meet requirements and are consistent.  Irksome for a vender, but counterfeit parts or parts that aren’t made from reliable processes have frequently caused problems for launches or hardware in space, like the tin-plated relays that cost the redundant string for four satellites and the whole shebang for four more .

So, yes, lots of red tape, but not always a bad thing.

Aron asked:  Should I go to the prom?

I’m glad you asked that.  Wait a minute, you might ask yourself, how could I possibly know whether or not you should go to the prom (other than my phenominal cosmic psychic power)? Well, I wouldn’t.

But I can help you understand what reasons you might have to go to the prom and decide accordingly.

Three main reasons to go come to my mind.

First reason: you have a special someone to take or potentially to support who very much wants to go to the prom.  If you have a girlfriend (or a potential girlfriend) for whom the prom really matters or you have a friend who doesn’t want to miss the prom but doesn’t have a date and wants you to go to support them.  If that’s the case, you probably should go to the prom, especially if we’re in the date situation. 

The second reason:  you really want to go.  If this is something you’ve always been curious about or always wanted to do, you might as well go and find out for sure.  However, the fact that you asked this question at all makes me wonder if you really want to go.

The third reason (and the most common one out there):  it’s a traditional rite of passage.  If you’re a traditionalist or a completist, if you don’t go, you’ll always wonder if you missed a pivotal evening in your life.  However, if you’re not, ask yourself what about the experience you think you would add to your life.  If you are close with classmates, this might be an opportunity  to interact with them outside of school.  On the other hand, if you’re not fond of dancing, if you don’t have a date or a group to support, if spending the evening in a low-light condition with generally outdated music and overdressed teenagers trying to spike the punch doesn’t sound like fun, you’re probably right.  And it’s an expensive deal (though that’s probably more true for girls).

Yes, I went to my junior/senior prom when I lived in Las Vegas (which was held at the Plaza Hotel).  No drinking but, in hindsight, it actually wasn’t magical or anythingI couldn’t have gone my whole life without doing.  However, it wasn’t anything I was interested in.

And that, of course, is the key.  If it’s something you feel makes your high school experience complete, if it’s important to someone who’s important to you, if it’s always been something you speculated about, go.  You can’t do it later.  But, if the experience holds nothing for you, seriously, I don’t think you’ll miss it.

I’d forgone awards on my other blog Rocket Scientist, but actually being awarded involves a response so it fits right in over here.  I have to thank Lola of Lola’s Diner (who, I might add, provided my first question on this blog) for this lovely “Honest Scrap” Award.

Lola has a very interactive blog and tells her many readers about the interesting events in her life and her thinking.  She often has very pronounced opinions (as I do) and she doesn’t take crap from anyone (which I admire).  She’s a remarkable individual.

“This award is bestowed upon a fellow blogger whose blog’s content or design is, in the giver’s opinion, brilliant.”

Talk about flattering, I seriously am.  I’m supposed to tell ten honest things about myself.  OK, here goes.

1) On May 15, I’ll have been working at NASA for 20 years.

2) I’ve had shingles twice already, once when I was thirteen and once when I was pregnant with my eldest daughter.

3) I have naturally the worst fingernails in the world:  brittle, soft, peeling, yuck!  I currently have gel nails just to keep my nails from chipping down to the cubicle.

4) I’m way heavy.  There’s a number of reasons, none of them particularly good with the exception of a very bad knee.

5) I have been writing stories/poetry/fiction since I was 11 years old.

6)  I once  had three short stories published in a magazine that no longer exists:  Plot

7) I have had three last names, each of them four letters long.

8)  My father and my grandfather both died the same week in March (different years).  They both had spent most of their careers working for the government and both died of causes related to those jobs.  My grandfather died of asbestosis (he as a master planner for the military).  My father died of colon cancer after spending 20 years slogging through toxic sludge as a soil specialist from one horrible site to the next.

9) Through no effort on my part, I have found out that I can trace my family back to Alfred the Great.

10) I have had sex with exactly two men.  Both of whom I married.

Now, who can I give this to?

How about JD at I Do Things

oldwestmom at Forever Family

shakespeare at  Shakespearemom

Roy at Roy’s World

Davida at Glue for Families

flit on Flitting on Fiction

Brilliant blogs, all of them, though I know many more.  I’ll do my best to showcase them over time.

Davida told me:  I told my husband that I wanted to be away for a weekend. I just wanted to run away. I didn’t want to be around him or my daughter. I LOVE THEM BOTH MORE THAN ANYTHING… I just wanted to be by myself. Honestly, a few times I thought I may not return. He basically said H-no! I could go away for a few hours, but a weekend was out of the question. I now see his point. I wonder if something’s wrong with me. The house is clean, breakfast/lunch/dinner are always ready, my business affairs are in order, my physical appearance is well-kept and so is my daughter’s, I take good care of her and him–is it normal to want to leave them both??? Normal or not, what should I do about it? I have a good life. What’s wrong with me?!

Nothing is wrong with you, darling.  You have a need and you’re expressing it, addressing it now as you need it.  I think that’s terribly healthy.  There are a few things that just might not strike your husband, or you, for that matter.  Whereas men traditionally think of themselves as associated with a profession, women often think of themselves as their roles:  wife, mother, caretaker, housekeeper, etc.  If they work as well, it’s just one more role to carry.  Unlike a job, however, those things don’t have a time limit.  You don’t punch a clock and say, “Whew, that’s over.  I don’t have to worry about being a mother again until Monday.”

It can and does happen to dads and husbands, too, but, in general, I think they are less prone to it.   Historically, women have tended to set their own needs aside in favor of their roles, becoming part of their husband’s family and giving up a piece of themselves, as symbolized by taking on the husband’s name.  That’s a generalization, of course, but I don’t think it’s pretty common.

The thing is, it’s hard to be on duty, 24/7, even if you love your family, your child, your husband, your life.  When you’re juggling all of your priorities, it’s easy, if you let one ball drop, to let that be yourself.  The more caring and giving a person you are, the more likely you are to lose sight of your own needs.  And the more you need to push yourself to take care of them.

My aunt Sue takes care of my bedridden grandmother, has been taking care of her for decades, helping other family members, being the rock a number of us depend on, working full time and taking great baby pictures.  Last week, she took off for a week to Hawaii and it was the best damn thing she’s done in years.  Not because she doesn’t love my grandmother any more, but because she’s entitled to a little preoccupation with herself, a little Sue time.  It’s not wrong.  It’s healthy.  And not only will she benefit by it, so will my grandmother because Sue will be happier and will be there because she wants to be, not because she has to be.

My sister, similar situation to your own.  I nag her to take time for herself because she needs it, not just for her own happiness, but because it’s better for her family if she’s healthy.  Never taking the time for yourself just isn’t healthy.

My husband is a stay at home dad.  When I’m home, I’m on duty, but he’s the one here 24/7.  When he says he needs to get away, I listen and do what I can to help him.  If he’s unhappy, if he feels that the life he leads is an obligation not his pleasure, he won’t be much fun for the kids or himself.  And he’s entitled to that time off, that time when he’s well and truly off the clock.  Truth is, when he leaves, he never wants to stay away as long as he thinks he does.  He usually can’t wait to get back or comes back early, but then it’s his choice, not his duty.  And that makes all the difference.

What I’m saying, as your sympathetic friend is, that there’s nothing wrong with you, that wanting to have some time being just Davida and not everything else you carry around with you all day every day isn’t wrong or naughty nor does it mean that you don’t love your husband, your daughter, or your life.  It just means that you don’t want to lose that little bit of yourself that is just yours, that you need a little time to recharge and remember all those other things you are besides a wife and mother.   When you come back, you’ll do so because being away reminded you of all the reasons why you’re there in the first place, but also remind you of that little spark of Davida that made you so appealing to them as well.

In order to do your best day in and day out, you need to be happy and you need to know your needs are important, too.  I hope you can convince your husband to see things your way.  In the long run, you’ll both be happier.

 And it might not hurt to make sure he gets some time for himself, too.

Caregivingdaughter asked:  Exactly what are calcifications?  What causes them?  Why would I have them in one breast and not the other?  Does having them increase my changes for developing breast cancer?

I’m not an expert on breast cancer nor do I have any personal experience, but I think it’s an important topic, get my own mammograms (yearly now, *sigh*) and want to help make sure every woman who needs one can get one.  I do know people who have lost people to this disease.  It’s heartbreaking.

I did some searching and here’s what I found.  This description from National Cancer Institute tells me quite a bit.

calcification (KAL-sih-fih-KAY-shun)
Deposits of calcium in the tissues. Calcification in the breast can be seen on a mammogram, but cannot be detected by touch. There are two types of breast calcification, macrocalcification and microcalcification. Macrocalcifications are large deposits and are usually not related to cancer. Microcalcifications are specks of calcium that may be found in an area of rapidly dividing cells. Many microcalcifications clustered together may be a sign of cancer.

What this says to me (and I am not an expert) is not that some sorts of calcifications in the breast does not cause cancer but may be an very early indication of cancer.  I presume that the macrocalcifications are likely the result of elevated calcium levels in the blood.  Microcalcifications, little deposits, may be an very early indicator of a particular form of cancer.  

I went trolling further.  According to this site , microcalcifications are an early indicator, but they’re looking for clusters rather than a scattering.  Probably that’s why they told you not to worry.  Apparently (based on the information on this other site ), the pattern and grouping of microcalcifications is key to how much risk of cancer exists.  

However, I would not take my uneducated word on this.  If you have concerns or questions, ask your doctor and get the real story.  There may be a perfectly good reason why you shouldn’t be concerned but remain aware.  In the end, it’s best to understand why they feel as they do about it.  In the end, though, it’s your body and you’re entitled to know if there’s something wrong. 

Stay informed and take whatever tests may be necessary to catch anything early.  The form of cancer associated with clusters of microcalcifications has a high cure rate if caught early.

Patricia asked:  It’s hard for me to decipher “real physics” from the fiction (in Sawyer’s novel) to the often hysteria one finds in media stories (I mean, the Collider does actually exist and they do conduct experiments which could go awry?). Add to that, all the hype over the approaching pole shift or Planet X or Mayan Calendar catastrophe in 2012 and I wonder how much of what we hear of potential or forthcoming astronomical calamities are actually predicted (or predictable) by physicists?

I hear you, Patricia.  It’s hard for a lot of people to tell the difference, and these challenges are amplified by the tendency of mass media to (a) focus on the most dramatic elements (even if they are a small part of the whole), (b) they often put their own interpretation on what they hear, even if it’s completely erroneous and (c) they have been knownto put their ownslant on things.  It wouldn’t matter so much if scientists had their own direct outlets to the general public, but most scientists tend to write papers for other scientists, so they use language the general public doesn’t understand and concepts that are not common knowledge.

I try not to do that, but I depend on you, my readers, to let me know when I fail.

The side effect of that, though, is that people get what’s going on in the scientific world through mass media and, never forget, media isn’t nearly as concerned with truth as they are with sensation.  If a twist in the truth makes a story inflammatory or exciting, most news agencies will pursue it.  It’s their business.

This also includes many of our documentaries and shows on Discovery or the Science channel.  Scientists might be involved, but the conclusions and dramatic overvoicing are there to make it more exciting, more appealing, more memorable.  That means that scientists (such as archaelogists) who, in the real world, would never say something as an absolute (unless they were  complete hacks) say things like:  “From this picture painted on Pharoah’s tomb, we know the Pharoah was a devoted family man.” No, we know nothing of the kind.  It’s certainly possible,  but the closest thing we could say we know is that someone (perhaps not even the Pharoah) wanted him to be remembered that way.  I could go on and on about the distortion of science, but you really asked about science and doomsday scenarios.

So, here’s what I know.  Mayan end of the world, Christian apocalypse, ancient-religion/culture of your choice doomsday - I don’t know any respectable scientist who thinks the end is coming at a specific date.  There are scholars and scientists who will say such and such ancient people believed or predicted such and such would be the end of the world, but no one I know of takes it as more than a historical curiousity.

Are there potential doomsday scenarios scientists are worried about?  You bet, but none of them have a definitive date.  And some are “end of the world” and some are “the world will get difficult for many people on earth.”  The Large Hadron Collider is not one that I think reputable scientists worry about.

Of the “world will get difficult” variety, we include most of the self-induced pollution/damage variety:  overfishing and oceanic pollution affecting fish populations such that many starve. Ozone depletion leads to increased exposure to UV rays and increases in cancer.  Radiation leakage and nuclear disasters (like Chernobyl) have the potential to impact different populations. Ditto for other forms of serious pollution.  Loss of wetlands and other buffer zones make human populations more at risk along coastal areas.  And, of course, the big one:  global climate change as a result of our anthropomorphic changes to the atmosphere that melt glaciers (threatening the water supply for billions of people), induce/increase drought and or storm system, change the coastlines at worst case.  I believe most understand that this will not destroy the human race, but can seriously inconvenience it and put many parts of the populace at risk.  Also in this category, we include natural disasters like tsunamis, earthquakes, volcanic devastation.  These aren’t really sizeable risks for the whole populace, but it can certainly do tremendous damage to affected areas (like those hit with the tsunami in the Indian Ocean a few years back).

When we get to “end of the world as we know it” scenarios, the list is considerably shorter:  global thermonuclear war (which I hope is much more unlikely at this juncture than it was 30-50 years ago) and impact from a large asteroid or comet.  The latter is something we don’t currently have a way to prevent, has happened in the (far distant) past with huge impacts on the life at the time, and we have clear visual proof that such impacts are devastating.  Just look at what’s been done to the moon.  Jupiter was hit with a comet in 1994 as we watched.  So, yes, it can happen, but there’s no reason to expect it any time soon.

And, if it does happen, there won’t be many (if any) of us left to worry about it.

DrBurst asked:  Anyway, I have a question. I joined the AIAA, now I want to become an active member and use my membership to the fullest. How do I do this? Does being an undergrad change things?

 Here at “Ask Me Anything”, we love questions, even those questions we just don’t know the answer to.  Like this one.  See, I’ve never really been a member of AAIA (the American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics).  Weird, hunh?  Yeah, in general, I’m not a joiner. 

I was once a member right before I left college because I was entered into one of their design competitions . But, aside from the competition, I didn’t really take advantage of that membership.  The good news is, though, that, according to their website, they have lots of activities geared to you , the aeronautical student like student conferences , student journal , student branches and even scholarships .  I would definitely check out that branch of their website and look at what’s available to you. Conferences are a big deal in the professional world of aerospace and you can get your feed wet in these student conferences.  The professional conferences tend to be very expensive.

But something their membership also allows you are access to a number of professional journals .  If you’re wanting to get a head start on the “real world,” reading some of these journals would be a great way to keep up with the latest on a number of topics.  If you can swing it, attending a conference on a topic that interests you is a great way to hear some of the coolest topics, meet contractors that are big in this business and make contacts.

Actually, I only have a professional membeship in the IAASS (the International Association for the Advancement of Space Safet) and have attended all of their conferences to date.  As a professional, I’ve really appreciated the interaction with professionals from all over the world.  The AIAA conferences can provide the same sort of benefits on subjects that interest you.

Wish I could give you more, DrBurst.  You’re already way ahead of where I was at your age.  Good luck!

Flit  asked (on Rocket Scientist ):  Science fiction writers seem to be increasingly fond of the notion of worlds we don’t know about… not so much on other planets… one of the books we’ve read for class mentioned “brane phsyics” (as in membrane)…and of course, Sawyer’s parallax trilogy is all about crossing that type of barrier….

are there actual scientists who think it’s possible? And/or who are working on such things? Seems totally over the top to me, but what do I know

Oh, sure, pick something simple. OK, here’s what I can tell you.

Yes, there are real scientists that are seriously into the multidimensional stuff.  Your question has stumbled on the holy grail of theoretical physics, The Theory of Everything (which has specialized other holy grails associated with it like the unified field theory ).  In several of these incarnations of people trying to get a handle on one explanation to reconcile both classical and quantum physics, we find discussions of the multiverse or something similar.

I’ve mentioned before that my brand of physics is the applied kind so this theoretical high-brow thinking isn’t my cup of tea.  I know just enough quantum physics to be dangerous to cats (just kidding, don’t send me your litterbox detrious!).  What that means is I can tell you that real Nobel-prize-winning scientists buy the possibility of this notion (if not the notion outright), want to play with high energy particle physics like the Large Hadron Collider to test some of those theoretical notions, and fight over one theory over another when most are mental speculation on very limited amounts of data.  That is what theoretical physics does (and has a surprisingly good success rate considering what data was available to start with).

Variations like M-Theory and Superstring Theory rub shoulders with such esoteric theories as Heim’s theory (and Burkhard Heim is a pretty interesting character in and of himself).  But, since the physics I know and love is of the based-on-reality kind, I’m not in a position to differentiate the different theories.  I know they involve some hairy math.  My husband kind of favors Heim’s thoughts, but it’s hard for me to give you an explanation of a theory where the math is so complicated, his work can’t even be peer-reviewed.  I get a headache just thinking about it.

So, I’ll point you to a bunch of different avenues you, as the student, are welcome to pursue and say, short answer, yes, many scientists buy this multiverse notion, even the most whacked out versions of it.  Ironically, it’s not one of the things I use in my own science fiction, perhaps because I don’t understand it well enough.

 Hope that helps you.  DrBurst, I’ll be getting to your question later today.

Shakespeare asks:  What can I do to get more TIME? I make lists, try to stay organized, but I have so much housework, so much other stuff, and I feel as if I don’t get to half the stuff I want to each day. What can I do to eke a little more time from each day?

Ah, Shakespeare.  I understand what you mean…except you won’t like the quick but definitive answer:  Nothing.

To date, even the Rocket Scientist can’t make time out of nothing.  Despite her best efforts, time marches on.  Nor are they marketing Hermione’s little trinket.  Truth is, we each have just the time that’s dealt and that’s probably for the best.  If we had more time, we’d fill that up too and be just as harried.

See time management is much like money management or weight management.  You can exercise daily, for instance, but, unless you’re an Olympic athlete working out 14 hours a day or living on the artic tundra (Hi, Bob!), you still have to limit your food intake to lose weight.  Ditto for money management.  You can scrape and claw to make as much money as you can, but (unless you’re an executive working for AIG), there will always be a limit to your income.  Exceed it, and you go broke.  

If you have more tasks than time, you have three options:

1) Allocate more time to tasks.  That’s great if you’re not already booked solid.  However, if you are, this it the option you wish you had.

2)  Perform the tasks you have more efficiently.

3)   Trim the tasks down to a workable level.

I’ll assume you already know 1 is not an option for you or you likely wouldn’t be asking me.  For many (and I tend toward this myself), 2 is where you start.  If you have to run errands, you find the most  efficient route, you bring lists to preclude distraction.  If you do housework, you likely have a system so that you can clean most efficiently.  But the truth is, I can’t give you the keys to how to work more efficiently.  I like to think I’m rather more efficient than average, but what works for one person fails horribly for another.  

Take, for example, my friend, flit .  She’s going back to school at a university some 2.5 hours from her house, can’t drive, teaches at a completely different university and still enjoys her weekends on Lake Ontario (I think it’s Lake Ontario).  Her method seems to be spreading herself a few atoms thin and taking on seventeen tasks at once bouncing from one to another until the plop out, complete, just in time.  What she accomplishes absolutely wows the snot out of me, but I can’t quite work like she does.  

Other folks I know become completely focused on one task at a time, do it thoroughly and well, not stopping until it’s complete and then moving on to the next one.  My own personal method is probably somewhere in between.  But, if you force the wrong method on someone against their nature, you won’t get success, you’ll get standstill.  Nail flit’s feet to the floor and force her to focus on one thing and one thing only, chances are the paper she’s writing will either stay blank or be started and discarded a dozen times.  Provide a little mood music to our focusing friend, and they’ll be unable to work.

So, if you want to work more efficiently, I’d say two things.  First, work with your strength.  If you need focus and quiet and you’re getting distracted, work your schedule to do your most challenging tasks when the kids are out or asleep, for instance.  If you need the opposite, turn on some music or something else that will keep you from locking up.

Secondly, and I think this is really the issue, don’t stress.  Some people thrive under pressure.  Others don’t.  If you feel like you never have a free minute, if you’re buried under tasks, that you never get to enjoy any of your time because you’re always harassed, efficiency isn’t your only problem.  You need method 3, because, as long as you’re so stressed, you will never work with your best efficiency.

And that leaves 3.  Bottom line, if every waking moment is double and triple booked, there’s only one way to address it.  Drop some tasks. 

What’s that you say?  You can’t?  Of course you can.  If your overload is affecting your wellbeing, it’s time to take a good look at all these things you have to do.  Prioritize.  Cull what you don’t have to do.  Dishes are required, for example, vacuuming can wait.  And move things you enjoy, things that make you and your family happy up at the top of the list.  It’s alright to be swamped once in a while, but if you feel each day is filled to bursting with tasks that are tedious or irksome, especially if you find you don’t even enjoy the time you spend doing things you normally enjoy.

Take a breath and remember you ought to enjoy the life you’re living.  You’d be surprised how many things can wait.